What Is Co-Parenting After Divorce In Singapore?

by 21 October 2024Knowledge & Insights

Co-parenting after Divorce refers to the shared responsibility of raising children between ex-spouses. It’s crucial for maintaining the well-being of children and ensuring that family dynamics function smoothly after separation.

In Singapore, understanding what is co-parenting after Divorce involves both legal and practical considerations guided by the principles of social and family development.

This article explores the importance of co-parenting and its impact on children and offers insights into navigating the complexities of co-parenting. It also highlights the role of key Divorce support programmes in helping parents manage these responsibilities effectively.

 

Co-Parenting Arrangements After Divorce

Co-parenting after Divorce involves Divorced parents working together to raise their children. This approach includes sharing responsibilities and making decisions to ensure the child’s well-being.

Despite the separation, you and your ex-spouse continue to play a role in parenting. Co-parenting requires collaboration to provide your child with a stable and supportive environment during a major life transition.

Co-parenting, however, focuses on cooperation and shared involvement, which is often more beneficial for a child’s emotional and psychological development.

Maintaining a cooperative relationship with your ex-partner is crucial. Children generally cope better with changes when parents are actively involved and working together.

This arrangement helps provide a consistent routine and reduces emotional stress, as your child feels supported by both parents. Forming healthy relationships between Divorced parents can make the transition smoother for everyone involved.

 

Parenting Plan And Its Benefits

A parenting plan is a detailed arrangement that outlines how Divorced parents will share responsibilities for their child.

This plan typically includes custody arrangements, visitation schedules, financial provisions, and decisions about the child’s education and other needs. A well-structured parenting plan is essential for a successful co-parenting arrangement.

One of the key benefits of a parenting plan is that it provides stability and predictability for your child. By clearly defining where your child will live and who will be responsible for their care at different times, the plan helps maintain a sense of security during a significant family change.

This clarity can ease the child’s adjustment and reduce the frequency of emotional outbursts, such as a child crying frequently due to confusion or stress.

Moreover, a good parenting plan can help reduce conflicts between you and your ex-spouse. With a clear outline of responsibilities and expectations, you can minimise misunderstandings and improve communication.

This organisation supports your child’s routine and facilitates a smoother co-parenting experience, ensuring that both parents are aligned in their approach to child support and care.

 

Who Is Required To Come Up With A Parenting Plan?

In Singapore, Divorced parents with at least one dependent child are legally required to develop and submit a parenting plan.

This requirement is part of the family law to ensure that arrangements for co-parenting are formalised. However, if you are filing for a simplified, uncontested Divorce, you do not need to submit a parenting plan.

A dependent child is defined as:

  • Under the age of 21 years: Any child under this age is considered dependent.
  • Above the age of 21 years but who suffers from a mental or physical disability: If the child has a condition that affects their daily life, is serving full-time national service.
    This includes children who are fulfilling mandatory national service duties. And is undergoing studies or training, this applies to children engaged in full-time education or vocational training, even if they are employed.

 

3 Categories Of Parenting After Divorce

Parenting after a Divorce can vary widely depending on the relationship between the Divorced parents. Understanding these categories can help in navigating the challenges of co-parenting and ensuring the children’s well-being.

#1. Cooperative Co-Parenting

Cooperative co-parenting is a collaborative approach where Divorced parents work together to make decisions and plan for their children.

Despite their separation, these parents prioritise their children’s needs and well-being, striving to maintain a harmonious relationship. This method involves clear communication, mutual respect, and joint problem-solving.

In cooperative co-parenting, both you and your ex-spouse are committed to making parenting decisions together. Even if you do not maintain a close friendship, your focus remains on the best interests of your children.

This positive interaction can provide stability and a sense of normalcy for your children during this major life transition. Parents who practise cooperative co-parenting often find that their children adjust better and experience fewer emotional and behavioural problems.

#2. Parallel Co-Parenting

In parallel co-parenting, parents operate largely independently, with minimal direct communication. Each parent adheres to a clearly defined schedule and set of rules, reducing opportunities for conflict.

This approach is often chosen when animosity remains high, but parents remain committed to their child’s welfare.

For parents in this category, maintaining separate routines and boundaries is key. Both of you should focus on sticking to Court orders or any pre-agreed parenting agreements.

Although communication might be limited, having structured plans for major decisions, like medical needs, can still be beneficial. This method can be particularly suitable if there is ongoing conflict or concerns about family violence. It helps prevent children from being drawn into disputes while ensuring their needs are met.

#3. Conflicted Co-Parenting

Conflicted co-parenting is characterised by high levels of ongoing conflict between Divorced parents. In this scenario, disputes and poor communication continue to dominate, often resulting in the children being caught in the middle.

If you find yourself in a conflicted co-parenting situation, it’s crucial to manage your emotions and focus on your child’s needs. Attempting to transition to parallel co-parenting can be beneficial, as it allows both you and your ex-spouse to reduce direct conflict while still meeting your children’s needs.

Seeking support from a Divorce support specialist agency or engaging in co-parenting counselling can provide the necessary guidance and help manage your emotional turmoil.

 

How Can Parents Go About Drafting A Parenting Plan?

Creating a parenting plan is crucial in managing co-parenting after a Divorce. This plan outlines how both parents will share responsibilities and make decisions regarding their children. Here’s a straightforward guide to help you draft an effective parenting plan:

Initial Steps In Creating A Parenting Plan

  1. Gather Information: Start by collecting all relevant information about your child’s needs and current arrangements. This includes their daily schedule, school details, medical needs, and any existing agreements between you and your ex-spouse.
  2. Set Goals: Establish clear goals for the parenting plan. Consider what you and your ex-spouse want to achieve in terms of residence, caregiving, education, and other aspects of your child’s life.
    Setting goals will help in creating a plan that supports your child’s well-being and accommodates both parents’ needs.
  3. Discuss with Your Co-Parent: Open a line of communication with your ex-spouse to discuss the details of the plan.
    Aim for a cooperative approach where both parents contribute to and agree on the terms. If you struggle to reach an agreement, you may need to seek the assistance of a parenting coordinator or mediator.

Essential Elements To Include In The Parenting Plan

  1. Residence: Detail where your child will live, including the address and the names of other individuals residing there. Specify how much time the child will spend at each parent’s home. This helps establish a routine and ensures the child’s stability.
  2. Caregiver: Identify who will take care of your child during different times, such as weekdays, weekends, and school holidays. Include information about any babysitters or extended family members involved in caregiving.
  3. Education: Provide details about the child’s school, including contact information and academic needs. If the child is employed or in training, outline these aspects along with any special educational needs or extracurricular activities.

Consulting Family Mediators Or Legal Advisors

To ensure your parenting plan is comprehensive and fair, consider consulting with a family mediator or legal advisor. They can provide valuable assistance in:

  • Drafting the Plan: A legal expert can help you create a detailed and legally sound plan, ensuring that all important aspects are covered.
  • Resolving Disputes: If disagreements arise, a mediator can facilitate discussions to help you and your ex-spouse reach a mutual agreement.
  • Ensuring Compliance: Legal advisors can help you understand your rights and obligations under family law and ensure the plan adheres to legal standards.

If both parents are able to agree on a plan, the parent filing for Divorce can draft an agreed parenting plan using Form 10. If an agreement cannot be reached, the Court may appoint a parenting coordinator or the parent filing for Divorce will need to submit their own proposed plan using Form 11.

The other parent will be able to respond with their proposed plan if they disagree using Form 24.

 

Attending A Parenting Coordination Programme And/Or A Parenting Programme

Navigating parenting after Divorce can be challenging, particularly when disagreements arise. To support Divorced parents in this process, Singapore offers Parenting Coordination And Parenting Programmes designed to facilitate effective co-parenting and address any issues that may emerge.

Parenting Coordination Programme

A parenting coordination programme is a structured family support service aimed at resolving conflicts between Divorced parents. This programme is typically ordered by the Court when:

  • Parenting Disagreements: There are disputes regarding parenting matters between you and your co-parent.
  • Relationship Issues: There are ongoing issues stemming from the relationship between you and your co-parent.
  • Parent-Child Conflicts: There are conflicts involving either co-parent and the child.

Objectives and Benefits

  • Conflict Resolution: The parenting coordinator helps mediate disputes and assist in reaching agreements on parenting arrangements.
  • Child’s Best Interests: The coordinator acts with the child’s well-being as the primary focus.
  • Support and Guidance: The programme provides both parents with support to navigate and manage their co-parenting relationship.

The Court can order participation in this programme on its own or upon request by either parent. Factors considered include the benefit to the child, the potential for resolving conflicts, and the affordability of the coordinator’s fees.

Parenting Programme

In addition to the parenting coordination programme, a Mandatory Parenting Programme is required for divorcing parents with at least one child under 21 when there is no formal agreement on Divorce or ancillary matters.

Objectives and Benefits

Educational Session, a 2-hour session, conducted by counsellors from Divorce Support Specialist Agencies (DSSAs) and Strengthening Families Programme@Family Service Centres (FAM@FSCs), covers:

  • Financial Implications: Understanding the financial impact of Divorce.
  • Living Arrangements: Insight into how Divorce affects living arrangements.
  • Custody and Access: Discussion on child custody, access rights, and the importance of a co-parenting plan.
  • Co-Parenting: Emphasis on the need for effective co-parenting and how to successfully implement a parenting plan.

If the Court orders the Parenting Coordination Programme, a parenting coordinator will be appointed. Parents can suggest a coordinator, but the final decision is made by the Court. The coordinator will work with both parents to resolve conflicts and assist in developing a parenting plan.

Eligibility Criteria

  • Parenting Coordination Programme: Ordered by the Court, usually in situations with ongoing conflicts or when parents cannot reach a mutual agreement.
  • Mandatory Parenting Programme: Required for all divorcing parents with minor children when no formal agreement is in place.

 

Mandatory Parenting Programme In Singapore

The Mandatory Parenting Programme (MPP), now known as the Mandatory Co-Parenting Programme (CPP) as of 2023, is a key initiative to support Divorced parents in Singapore.

This programme is designed to ensure that children’s well-being remains a priority and to foster successful co-parenting relationships after Divorce.

Under the Women’s Charter, the CPP is a mandatory requirement if:

  • You intend to start Divorce proceedings or file a counterclaim.
  • You have a child under 21 years old.
  • You and your spouse cannot agree on the grounds for Divorce or any ancillary matters related to the Divorce.

The programme must be completed before you can commence Divorce proceedings or file a counterclaim.

What To Expect From The Programme

The CPP is divided into two main components:

  1. Online E-Learning: This part of the programme involves self-assessment tools and educational material designed to help you understand your marital situation, co-parenting relationship, and your child’s needs.
    The online e-learning session takes about 1.5 hours and provides foundational knowledge to prepare you for the next step.
  2. Individual or Couple Consultation: After completing the e-learning module, you must schedule a consultation with a counsellor from a Strengthening Families Programme@Family Service Centre (FAM@FSC) or a Divorce Support Specialist Agency (DSSA).
    This consultation lasts approximately one hour, allowing you to discuss your situation in more depth and receive tailored guidance.

Completing the CPP can significantly benefit both parents and children in several ways:

  • Enhanced Co-Parenting Relationships: The programme helps Divorced parents understand and manage their co-parenting responsibilities, facilitating smoother interactions and reducing conflicts.
  • Improved Child Outcomes: By practising cooperative co-parenting and addressing emotional and behavioural problems, parents can better support their child’s adjustment to the Divorce and maintain a stable environment.
  • Supportive Framework: The programme provides valuable insights into managing the emotional and logistical aspects of parenting after Divorce, ensuring that both parents can handle the major life transition with their child’s best interests in mind.

 

Tips On Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

Co-parenting after Divorce can be challenging, but with the right approach, it can lead to a supportive and positive environment for your child. Here are some essential tips to help you manage a successful co-parenting relationship:

Review Your Child’s Daily Routine Schedule Before Creating A Parenting Plan

Understanding your child’s daily routine is crucial for creating an effective parenting plan. This includes familiarising yourself with their school schedule, extracurricular activities, and any other regular commitments they have.

By reviewing their daily routine, you can ensure that your parenting plan accommodates their needs and minimises disruptions.

  • Adjusting the Routine: Once you clearly understand your child’s routine, adjust it based on the new co-parenting arrangement.
    This might involve coordinating schedules for pick-ups and drop-offs, managing extracurricular activities, and ensuring that both parents are aware of important dates and events.
  • Involving Your Child: If appropriate, involve your child in discussions about their routine. This can help them feel more secure and involved in the process, especially if significant changes occur. For example, a child might appreciate knowing how their new schedule will fit with their daily activities.

Keep Personal Grievances From Affecting Your Judgement

It’s natural to have personal grievances following a Divorce, but it’s important to keep these feelings from impacting your co-parenting decisions. The primary focus should be on your child’s well-being, not on past conflicts with your ex.

Always prioritise your child’s needs and interests over personal issues. Approach co-parenting with a mindset of cooperation and mutual respect rather than conflict. Treat your co-parent as a partner in your child’s upbringing rather than as an adversary.

To keep personal issues from affecting your judgement, consider setting clear boundaries and maintaining a professional attitude when discussing parenting matters.

If personal grievances become overwhelming, seeking support from a therapist or counsellor can be beneficial. They can help you navigate your own emotional turmoil and focus on effective co-parenting strategies.

Create A Schedule For Visitation And Living Arrangements

Creating a clear and consistent schedule for visitation and living arrangements is crucial for successful co-parenting. This schedule not only provides structure and stability for your child but also helps to minimise disruptions caused by the Divorce.

Sit down with your co-parent to create a detailed parenting plan that covers all aspects of your child’s life, including visitation rights, living arrangements, and responsibilities for special events like school holidays or extracurricular activities.

Ensure that both parents are fully aware of their obligations and that the schedule will be as hassle-free for the child as possible.
While a fixed routine is important, there should also be room for flexibility. Life can be unpredictable, and there may be times when adjustments to the schedule are necessary.

It’s important to have a contingency plan in place for these situations. Both parents should be open to discussing changes and adapting the schedule when required to ensure the child’s well-being.

Once a schedule is established, it’s essential to communicate it clearly to your child. Ensure that they understand the plan and know what to expect. This helps reduce anxiety and allows the child to feel more secure in the new co-parenting arrangement.

Regularly update them if any changes occur and reassure them that both parents are committed to making the transition as smooth as possible.

Hold Regular Discussions To Resolve Issues

Ongoing communication between co-parents is vital for resolving any issues arising during the co-parenting process. Regular discussions can help keep the parenting plan on track and prevent minor issues from escalating.

Co-parenting can be challenging, and there will inevitably be issues that need addressing. Regular discussions between co-parents provide an opportunity to review what’s working well and what might need adjustment.

These conversations are crucial for maintaining a cooperative co-parenting relationship and ensuring that the child’s needs remain the top priority.

To hold productive and respectful discussions, approach each conversation with an open mind and a focus on the child’s well-being. Set aside personal grievances and aim to reach mutually beneficial agreements.

It can be helpful to establish some ground rules for these discussions, such as speaking calmly, listening to the other parent’s concerns, and avoiding blame or criticism.

To ensure that issues are addressed promptly, consider scheduling regular meetings, whether weekly or monthly. These meetings can be a dedicated time to discuss any concerns, suggest changes, and update the parenting plan if needed.

By maintaining consistent communication, co-parents can rebuild minimal trust and foster a continuous relationship that benefits the child’s future.

Address Conflicts Immediately

When co-parenting, differences in parenting styles and decisions are inevitable, and these can lead to conflicts. However, it’s crucial to address any conflicts as soon as they arise to prevent them from escalating and affecting your co-parenting relationship.

Conflicts left unresolved can lead to larger disagreements that may impact your ability to make sound co-parenting decisions. Addressing conflicts promptly ensures that they don’t spiral out of control, which can ultimately affect your child’s emotional well-being and the overall family dynamic.

When a conflict arises, engage in open and honest communication with the co-parent. Clearly express your concerns and listen to the other parent’s perspective.

The goal is to reach a mutually acceptable resolution that prioritises your child’s best interests. Practising cooperative co-parenting, where both parties are willing to compromise, can help maintain a positive relationship.

If you find that conflicts cannot be resolved independently, it may be beneficial to involve a mediator. Mediators, who may be available through specialised family service centres or Divorce support programmes, can help both parents work through their disagreements in a constructive manner.

This step can prevent conflicts from negatively impacting the child and ensure a smoother co-parenting experience.

Avoid Negative Comments Or Disagreements About The Co-Parent In Front Of Your Child

One of the key aspects of successful co-parenting is maintaining a positive and respectful attitude towards the other parent, especially in front of your child. Negative comments or disagreements can have a significant impact on your child’s emotional health.

Children often experience significant emotional burdens when exposed to parental conflict. Hearing negative remarks or witnessing disagreements can confuse the child and undermine their sense of security.

It may also lead them to feel torn between parents, affecting their ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

To ensure your child views both parents as a unified team, avoid making negative comments about the other parent in their presence. If disagreements occur, discuss issues privately and away from the child.

Always aim to speak positively or neutrally about the co-parent, reinforcing the idea that both parents work together for the child’s benefit.

As a parent, your actions set the standard for how your child will handle relationships and conflicts in their own lives. By role modelling respectful behaviour, even during disagreements, you’re teaching your child the importance of civility and effective communication skills.

This approach supports the child’s emotional development and helps them adjust more easily to the changes brought about by the Divorce process.

Collaborate On Disciplining Your Child

When it comes to disciplining your child, consistency between co-parents is crucial. A unified approach helps the child understand boundaries and consequences, which is essential for their development and behaviour.

Children need clear and consistent rules to thrive. When co-parents collaborate on discipline, it prevents confusion and mixed signals. If only one parent enforces discipline, the child might view that parent as the ‘strict’ one and the other as more lenient, leading to potential manipulation or behavioural issues.

It’s important to have open discussions with the other parent about the rules you expect your child to follow and the consequences if those rules are broken.

By agreeing on these terms, both parents can ensure that the child receives the same message, regardless of whose home they are in. This alignment helps the child understand that both parents are a team, working together for their benefit.

You can start by discussing your parenting philosophies and finding common ground. Once you have a basic understanding, create a plan that outlines the agreed-upon rules and consequences.

Review and adjust this plan regularly as needed. If conflicts arise, seek co-parenting counselling or mediation through social service agencies for guidance. Programmes offered by specialised family service centres can also be valuable resources for aligning parenting approaches.

Be Adaptable For Your Child’s Best Interests

Adaptability is key in co-parenting, especially as your child grows and their needs evolve. Being flexible and open-minded allows you to adjust your parenting arrangements to best support your child’s development.

As children grow, their schedules, interests, and needs will change. What works for a one-year-old child may not be suitable for an eight-year-old son.

Being adaptable ensures that your co-parenting arrangements continue to meet your child’s needs, even as they evolve. Whether it’s adjusting the parenting schedule or revisiting disciplinary strategies, adaptability is crucial for effective co-parenting.

Embrace an open-minded attitude when facing new parenting challenges. This means being willing to make changes, even if it requires stepping out of your comfort zone.

If your child expresses a desire for a different arrangement or shows signs of struggling with the current one, it’s important to consider their wishes and needs. This approach helps the child adjust better to the co-parenting situation and promotes their overall well-being.

Always prioritise your child’s best interests when making decisions. If the child cries frequently or seems distressed, it may be a sign that the current arrangement isn’t working for them.

In such cases, consulting a family therapist or seeking support from Divorce support programmes can provide insights and strategies for making necessary adjustments.

Remember, co-parenting supports your child’s emotional development and happiness, ensuring they feel loved and secure by both parents.

 

Conclusion About Divorce Co-Parenting

Successful co-parenting after Divorce is essential for the well-being of your children and the smooth functioning of your post-Divorce family life. These strategies help to create a stable and supportive environment where your child can thrive despite the challenges that come with Divorce.

It’s important to remember that co-parenting is a commitment to your child’s best interests. By following these strategies and seeking help from key Divorce support programmes when needed, you can navigate the complexities of co-parenting effectively.

If you need professional guidance to ensure the best outcomes for your family, Tembusu Law is here to help. As a team of dedicated family and Divorce lawyers in Singapore, we provide legal advice and representation at all stages of the Divorce process.

Whether it’s child custody, the division of matrimonial assets, or other family law matters, we’re here to help you gain clarity and fight for your fair share.

Get in touch with our team of Singapore Divorce Lawyers for a free consultation on your case today. If you want peace of mind knowing that your legal matters are in the good hands of one of Singapore’s leading law firms, contact us today!

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce Co-Parenting

What Happens If A Parent Does Not Comply With The Parenting Order Made By The Court?

When a parent fails to comply with a parenting order made by the Court, it is considered contempt of Court, a serious legal offence. The other parent may initiate legal proceedings to enforce the order, seeking compliance from the non-cooperative parent.

Penalties for non-compliance can include a fine of up to $20,000, imprisonment for up to one year, or both, depending on the severity of the breach.

Is A Parenting Plan Legally Binding?

A parenting plan agreed upon by the parents is not legally binding on its own. The legally binding orders regarding parenting arrangements are those issued by the Court, either through contested Divorce proceedings or as consent orders in uncontested Divorces.

These Court orders cover important aspects such as custody, education, and financial provision for the child. While the Court may consider the proposed parenting plan, the child’s welfare remains an important consideration in making any orders.

Can We Choose To Amend The Agreed Parenting Plan Or The Parenting Order Made By The Court?

Parents may amend the parenting plan if it has not yet been served to the co-parent, without needing the Court’s permission. However, once the plan is served, any amendments require Court approval.

If a Court has already issued parenting orders, they can be varied under certain conditions, such as misrepresentation or significant changes in circumstances. If the parenting order is based on mutual agreement, the Court may vary it if it deems the change beneficial for the child’s welfare.

To amend an existing order, an appeal must be filed within 14 days, or a separate application must be made after the deadline has passed.

When Should Divorced Parents Start Creating A Co-Parenting Plan In Singapore?

Divorced parents in Singapore should start creating a co-parenting plan as early as possible, ideally before or during the Divorce proceedings. Early planning helps ensure that both parents clearly understand their roles and responsibilities and that the child’s needs are consistently met.

By establishing a well-thought-out co-parenting plan early on, parents can avoid misunderstandings and conflicts later, providing a more stable and supportive environment for their child during and after the Divorce process.

About the author

About the author

Tembusu Law

Jonathan is the Founder and Managing Director of Tembusu Law. He is also the founder of LawGuide Singapore, a prominent legaltech startup which successfully created and launched Singapore’s first legal chatbot in 2017.

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