It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? A wound you can’t see, a bruise that never colours your skin, yet it hurts more deeply than any physical blow. This is the reality for many people experiencing something incredibly damaging, and it often leaves them asking what psychological violence is.
It’s not about fists or broken bones. It’s about the slow, crushing weight of words and actions designed to control, frighten, and diminish you until you question your own mind. It’s an invisible cage, but its bars are just as real.
The Meaning of Psychological Violence
At its core, the meaning of psychological violence (also known as emotional or mental abuse) is about power and control.
It’s a pattern of behaviour where one person systematically chips away at another’s self-worth, independence, and mental stability. Think of it like a constant drip of water on your confidence. One drop doesn’t seem like much, but over time, it can wear away stone.
This type of abuse works by creating an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, and instability. The abuser aims to isolate you from friends and family, making you entirely dependent on them. They want to be the only voice you hear, the only opinion that matters, until their reality becomes your own.
It’s subtle, often happening behind closed doors, which makes it incredibly difficult for others to see and for the victim to recognise.
Psychological Violence in Marriage
Nowhere is this form of abuse more hidden and more harmful than within a marriage. Psychological violence in marriage turns a relationship that should be a safe haven into a personal prison.
Under Singapore law, particularly the Protection from Harassment Act (POHA) and the Women’s Charter, such behaviour is taken very seriously. The Court recognises that harm isn’t just physical.
An abusive spouse might control all the finances, decide who you can see, constantly criticise you, or threaten to harm themselves or your children if you ever think of leaving. These actions create a constant state of anxiety and can have profound effects on your mental health.
If you’re considering a Divorce, documenting these incidents is crucial. The Court will consider evidence of such abuse when making decisions about personal protection orders, child custody, and the division of assets.
Examples of Psychological Violence
It can be difficult to pinpoint what feels so wrong. So, let’s look at some common examples of psychological violence to make it clearer:
- Gaslighting: This is a classic tactic where the abuser makes you doubt your own memory and sanity. They’ll deny things they said or did, telling you, “You’re being too sensitive,” “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things.”
- Constant Criticism and Humiliation: Nothing you do is ever good enough. They belittle your achievements, mock your opinions in front of others, and call you names. It’s designed to make you feel worthless.
- Intimidation and Threats: This can include threatening looks, destroying your personal belongings, or making veiled threats against you, your children, or your pets. It’s about keeping you in a state of fear.
- Isolation: The abuser works to cut you off from your support system. They might complain about your friends, make it difficult to see your family, or monitor your calls and messages. The lonelier you are, the more control they have.
- Controlling Behaviour: They might dictate what you wear, where you go, and how you spend money. Your life is no longer your own; it’s managed entirely by them.
Signs of Psychological Violence
Signs are the recurring patterns and feelings that reveal an abusive environment. They are the cumulative effect of an abuser’s toxic actions.
Pervasive Sense of Isolation
This is a deliberate separation from friends and family that makes you more dependent on the abuser. Your partner may actively create conflict or instil guilt to keep you away from your support system.
Chronically Low Self-Esteem
Constant criticism and insults erode your confidence, leaving you feeling worthless and inadequate. The abuser’s negative voice becomes your inner critic, making you believe you don’t deserve respect.
Living in Constant Fear and Anxiety
Often described as “walking on eggshells,” you live in a state of high alert, trying to manage the abuser’s unpredictable moods. This constant fear is driven by the threat of emotional retaliation, like insults or the silent treatment.
Persistent Self-Doubt and Confusion
Due to manipulative tactics like gaslighting, you constantly question your own memory, perception, and sanity. You stop trusting your own judgment and often accept blame for things that aren’t your fault.
A Loss of Autonomy and Control
You lose the freedom to make your own choices as the abuser dictates everything from your finances to your social life. Your independence is erased as they monitor your movements and control your decisions.
Conclusion About Psychological Violence
Recognising that you’re experiencing psychological violence is the first brave step towards reclaiming your life. These emotional wounds are real, and their impact is significant. You don’t have to endure it alone, and the law is on your side. Understanding your rights is the key to breaking free and starting the journey to healing. If any of this sounds familiar, please know that help is available.
At Tembusu Law, we understand the delicate and complex nature of these situations. Our team of the best criminal lawyers and Divorce lawyers in Singapore is here to provide the support and legal guidance you need.
Contact us for a free and confidential consultation to explore your options.
Frequently Asked Questions About Psychological Violence
Is Psychological Violence A Crime In Singapore?
Yes. Under the Protection from Harassment Act (POHA), acts that cause harassment, alarm, or distress, which are hallmarks of psychological violence, are illegal. You can apply for a Protection Order from the Court.
How Can I Prove Psychological Violence In Court?
Proving psychological violence can be challenging, but it is possible. Evidence can include text messages, emails, recordings (where legally obtained), and journal entries documenting incidents. Witness testimony from friends, family, or a therapist can also be very powerful.
What Is The Difference Between A Bad Argument And Psychological Violence?
Conflicts and disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. The difference is that psychological violence is a consistent pattern of controlling and demeaning behaviour. It’s not about resolving a conflict; it’s about one person establishing power and control over the other.
Can Men Be Victims Of Psychological Violence?
Absolutely. Psychological violence can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, or background. Men can and do experience emotional abuse from their partners, and the same legal protections are available to them.
